Common Reasons Why Couples Break Up
Lately I’ve been hearing news about some of my friends breaking up with their boyfriend/girlfriend (Idk if it’s because of this quarantine or what but it’s theirs so I’m staying out of it). I ain’t gonna be dropping names here, too confidential 😌. Also, I just finished watching the movie “How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days”. If you haven’t seen it, go watch it, it’s a rom-com, plus, Kate Hudson is so gorgeous. So it was that movie, and those break up news that I heard that inspired me to go write this article today. Quite an interesting topic to talk about actually. I’m not even an expert on this field but I just would like to make a list of what I think are the common (and maybe uncommon) reasons why relationships end and why couples break up.
1. Cheating. PERIOD.
Eto naman kasi talaga ang number one eh. Eto ang pinaka common. Malamang may nahanap ng iba so magbuwag gyud diba. Unless nalang ug ok ra nimo nga duha mo para multi-tasking. I can’t really elaborate why some people cheat, may kanya-kanya yang rason siguro. Maybe nagsawa, maybe may kulang sa jowa niya kaya hinanap sa iba. Or baka talent lang talaga ng puso nya na magmahal ng dalawa at the same time. Whatever the reason, it’s wrong, it hurts and it’s traumatizing. Makawala kaya ug self-esteem pag mag cheat imong partner, makapamutana kag “unsa pa man diay kuwang nako? Unsay naa niya nga wala nako?”. But cheer up, when they cheat on you, it’s not your loss, it’s theirs. And hindi ikaw yung may kulang, kundi siya.
2. Too many differences/Misunderstanding
This is true. Let’s say when you’ve been together for quite long, tas naglalabasan na mga totoong kulay niyo, sometimes kasi jan na natetest ang tatag ng relationship nyo. Gasige namog away, paugatay na, tag-as nag mga pride, and then you see or realize “Luh oy wa naman gyud mi nagkasinabot”, or “Unsa naman ni wa nako kasabot niya, lahi na kaayu siya.”. Then boom, you guys broke up. Pero you know what? Its moments like this na dapat mas mu hold on pa dapat ta sa usag-usa. Because relationships isn’t just about staying during good times, but staying during bad times din. If you really love the person, you wouldn’t use your fights and differences as an excuse to leave that relationship. Ano yun, gusto mo na happy happy lang always? Tas pag nakita mo na attitude nya tas nag away kayo, iiwan mo na? Baka di mo sya love, baka pang good time lang yang love mo na yan. As per sa Kathniel nga, they always choose each other kahit nakailang away at misunderstanding na sila.
3. Still holding on to the past
I saw this post on Facebook the other day, ang sabi don “Tips para magkajowa: Icomfort ang kakabreakup lang.”. I tell you, THAT is a very dangerous game to play (Initiate Retreat 😂). Do I even have to elaborate this? HAHAHAHA Hindi na siguro noh. Kung ayaw mong maging panakip butas, stay away from those people na kakabreak up lang. Ma fall pa lang kag kinomfort diha, tas jojowain mo, tas sasagutin ka niya, tas naging kayo, then months later, makikipag break na at sasabihing “I still love my ex.”. Oh sinong nasawi? Kaya kung jowang jowa kana, targeta ng mga sigeg shared posts sa FB, kana sila okeh keeyouh 😂😂
4. Bored/Tired/Cold
One of the most painful reasons that you’d probably hear if someone would break up with you. Tulad ng “Sorry nawad-an nakog gana” or “Kapoy naman, gikapoy nako, sorry kaayu” or “Galibog nako nato, wa nakoy sure, sorry gyud”. Ang kapal nga naman talaga charot (chillax lang author, chillax lang). Kalagot oy hahahahah malooy kos akong mga friends na buwagan sa ilang uyab nya ang rason kay ingani bitaw. Ambot nganung mawad-an na silag gana, unsa diay ni, gana gana ra diay nila ning relationship. Aymo enter oy ug gana2 rani ninyo, nakakapanakit pa kayu eh. (Kalma rako ha, kalma rako 😂)
5. Too toxic
Nindot pod ni gam-an ug article ba, kining about toxic relationships. Sometimes kasi, we can’t distinguish if are we still in the right track or baka napaka toxic na ng relasyon na to, or nakaka drain na or very unhealthy na. I have a friend na 4 years sila sa iyang ex tas nagbuwag sila kasi daw toxic na kaayo. Toxic na in a way nga sayun ra kaayu sa iyang uyab na magtubag2 sa mama sa akong friend. Then too controlling, kase pag mag away sila, gamiton niyag pang blackmail ang facebook account sa akong friend, ilisan niyag password, ihack mga ganun2, and what’s worst, giabusaran na niya akong friend, maybe not physically but verbally. Naa pod toy kas-a na makigbuwag na akong friend nya gihulga siyag “Sige buwagi ko kay maghikog ko”. Scary right. But I’m very happy for her now kay that was 2 years ago, and now she’s happily single.
6. “She ain’t easy to get.”
Hmmmm how do I start this. Hindi natin maipagkakaila na Boys have this need for ano. Boys would ask "Babe pwede na ba?". Then girls would say "Sorry di pako ready gyud ana babe, mahadlok ko, di ko gusto masayop ta or madisgrasya ta." At first muingon gyud nag "Sige babe huwaton takag kanus-a ka ready". Pero kadugayan biiiiii, "Unsa mana babe oy nganung di man ka musugot, mura man tag di uyab. Di man siguro ko nimo love!". Saba diha boy, requirement na diay na karon? Mao na diay nay sukdanan ug love karon? Nagjowa ka nalang sana ng one night stand kung di ka makatiis or di ka kahulat. Remember girls, Real men can wait, but immature boys can't. Naa koy kaila, gibuwagan tawn siya kay lagi di siya musugot, sus di ta mahadlok ug buwagan tag ngana na laki oy. Daghan pang isda sa dagat, kanang isda nga gentleman 🙄.
7. Pinagbawalan/Study First
Eto, murag applicable ni siyas mga youngsters, mga ga uyab2 during high school days or elementary days. Wa ko kasulay ani man, wa ko nag uyab2 gyud sa elementary ug high school ko, gisulit nako akong pagka yagit gyud hahaha. But I don't have anything against people who are in a relationship during those days, nay uban man gani nga ang ilang uyab pag High school, mao nay nakadayun nila gyud taman kaminyuan (sana lahat). Syempre normal sa parents na bawalan ilang mga anak kay gaskwela pa man, di sila gustong ma distract. Bisan ganig college na, bawalan gihapon (murag ako sauna - pero lol nakauyab gihapon BWAHAHA). Nay uban na napaglaban gyud nila kahit pinagbawalan, pero nay uban na nabuwag gyud. Ok rana guys, pag #comeback mo pag naka graduate namo or pag naa namoy work. Pag kayo talaga, kayo talaga.
8. Falling Out Of Love
Mahapdi to, hapdos ning rasona. As per Taylor Swift, "When people fall out of love with you, there's nothing you can do to make them change their mind. They just don't love you anymore." I felt that. Lisod noh? Bintaha pa ng hilanat kay kabalo tang nganong gihilantan ta. Gihilantan ta kay nabasa tag ulan or wa tay tarong kaon ngana. Pero when somebody falls out of love with you, and when you asked them why and how, pati siya maglisod ug explain. Sabi nila parang it's a sudden feeling lang daw. One day gigising ka nalang, di mo na sya mahal. I don't know though, wa ko kasulay. Pero if ngana man galeng nga sudden feeling ra na, napaka sad naman. "Sorry pero di na kita mahal." Ay shaaaaks murag salida hahahahah, siguro ug gam-an nako nig thesis, naa guro poy reason hahahaha but I don't have plenty of time para imbestigahan ko tong mga ganitong reason noh lol.
9. Family Problem
Not a common reason but this can be a reason. If one of you, naay matinding pinagdadaanan sa family, and he/she can't focus on your relationship, then nay tendency magbuwag mo. Unless nalang if your partner is very understanding, then tabangan ka niyag face ana na family problem, then that's good awwweee😍 . But yeah naa gyuy cases na pati ang partner di ka handle, kay feel niya nadadamay na siya, so break up ang ending.
10. To Pursue Greater Opportunities
I have a co-worker, ngani ang nahitabo. Ni abroad ang ex niya to pursue his career, and she didn't want a long distance relationship, so she ended it. Ayaw nga sana ng ex niya eh, kay para ra sad daw sa ilang future ng iyang pag abroad unta ngana. See, it depends ragyud sa taw ng mga ingani, yung isa gustong ipaglaban ang LDR, yung isa ayaw niya kasi lisod daw ganun. But then, it's their choices though. Pero ug sila, awh magbalik ra lage na sila basta single gihapon silang duha nig uli atong isa hahaha kapit lang guys.
11. Long Distance
Murag connected ra ni sa number 10. Pero iniba ko lang ang number kay di tanang LDR, ingato ang case nga kanang ang isa nas layo for opportunities. Nay LDR man nga ang isa nas Baclayon, nya ang uyab nas Inabanga. Or ang isa nas Cebu tas ang isa naa sa Manila. Wala namang masama pag jowa mo nasa malayo, unsaon mang na inlove man kag taga lagyo hahaha. Pero some, they cannot maintain long distance, mainly because of trust issues. And according to my friends, lahi ragyud daw basta LDR. You cannot do the things that most couple normally do: date, watch movie together, walking2 ganun. Mostly video call ug chat2 inyong saligan. I really salute couples who can survive LDR, ngana kalig-on ilang trust sa usag-usa. Syempre trust is one of the most importante requirement when entering relationship. Ug magsige na raman kag duda, maopaw kag sayu ana. But for some, LDR is the reason kung mano they chose to end what they have.
12. Bad Influence
This could be one of the uncommon reasons, but this happens. Yung pag yung jowa mo, na impluwensyahan nag daotan sa iyang friends or environment (e.g. drugs). It's true na pag unsa atong partner, dawaton nato kay lage love nato ang taw. Pero dili sa kanunay. Example lang, tig drugs nana imong uyab and you know about it, tubayan nalang ba nimo? Dagko naman ta, we know what is right and wrong. If you think his vices is not going to help your relationship grow, or if it would be a hindrance sa inyong future, then it's understandable if you choose to end it. Unless nalang if gusto jud kang tabangan syang mag change so you choose to stick around for your partner. That's fine, pero ug di nagyud na matarong, then pagdesisyunan mo na.
So far, with the help of my cousins, eto lang nacollect naming reasons on why some relationships don't work. Somewhere on these numbers, naa gyuy friend nako ani na maigo hmmm (peace y'all haha). Pero you know what, mas nindot ng musod ug relasyon na ready naka, at the right time, with the right person, and with God's will. Kay pag kanang upat nag - align, kining mga reasons nga naa sa akong listahan, won't ruin your relationship. Samot na if God is the center of your relationship, then He'll always be with you to guide you and your partner all throughout the way.
Sa mga single jan, okay lang yan. Hindi naman contest ang pagjojowa eh. Tamang antay at shared posts lang sa Facebook okay na. And while single pa, focus na rin tayo sa pag nurture sa atong relationship with God, since mao man na ang pinaka importante. And when God sees that you're ready, He'll send you the right person in the most unexpected way. ❤️️❤️️
1. Cheating. PERIOD.
Eto naman kasi talaga ang number one eh. Eto ang pinaka common. Malamang may nahanap ng iba so magbuwag gyud diba. Unless nalang ug ok ra nimo nga duha mo para multi-tasking. I can’t really elaborate why some people cheat, may kanya-kanya yang rason siguro. Maybe nagsawa, maybe may kulang sa jowa niya kaya hinanap sa iba. Or baka talent lang talaga ng puso nya na magmahal ng dalawa at the same time. Whatever the reason, it’s wrong, it hurts and it’s traumatizing. Makawala kaya ug self-esteem pag mag cheat imong partner, makapamutana kag “unsa pa man diay kuwang nako? Unsay naa niya nga wala nako?”. But cheer up, when they cheat on you, it’s not your loss, it’s theirs. And hindi ikaw yung may kulang, kundi siya.
2. Too many differences/Misunderstanding
This is true. Let’s say when you’ve been together for quite long, tas naglalabasan na mga totoong kulay niyo, sometimes kasi jan na natetest ang tatag ng relationship nyo. Gasige namog away, paugatay na, tag-as nag mga pride, and then you see or realize “Luh oy wa naman gyud mi nagkasinabot”, or “Unsa naman ni wa nako kasabot niya, lahi na kaayu siya.”. Then boom, you guys broke up. Pero you know what? Its moments like this na dapat mas mu hold on pa dapat ta sa usag-usa. Because relationships isn’t just about staying during good times, but staying during bad times din. If you really love the person, you wouldn’t use your fights and differences as an excuse to leave that relationship. Ano yun, gusto mo na happy happy lang always? Tas pag nakita mo na attitude nya tas nag away kayo, iiwan mo na? Baka di mo sya love, baka pang good time lang yang love mo na yan. As per sa Kathniel nga, they always choose each other kahit nakailang away at misunderstanding na sila.
3. Still holding on to the past
I saw this post on Facebook the other day, ang sabi don “Tips para magkajowa: Icomfort ang kakabreakup lang.”. I tell you, THAT is a very dangerous game to play (Initiate Retreat 😂). Do I even have to elaborate this? HAHAHAHA Hindi na siguro noh. Kung ayaw mong maging panakip butas, stay away from those people na kakabreak up lang. Ma fall pa lang kag kinomfort diha, tas jojowain mo, tas sasagutin ka niya, tas naging kayo, then months later, makikipag break na at sasabihing “I still love my ex.”. Oh sinong nasawi? Kaya kung jowang jowa kana, targeta ng mga sigeg shared posts sa FB, kana sila okeh keeyouh 😂😂
4. Bored/Tired/Cold
One of the most painful reasons that you’d probably hear if someone would break up with you. Tulad ng “Sorry nawad-an nakog gana” or “Kapoy naman, gikapoy nako, sorry kaayu” or “Galibog nako nato, wa nakoy sure, sorry gyud”. Ang kapal nga naman talaga charot (chillax lang author, chillax lang). Kalagot oy hahahahah malooy kos akong mga friends na buwagan sa ilang uyab nya ang rason kay ingani bitaw. Ambot nganung mawad-an na silag gana, unsa diay ni, gana gana ra diay nila ning relationship. Aymo enter oy ug gana2 rani ninyo, nakakapanakit pa kayu eh. (Kalma rako ha, kalma rako 😂)
5. Too toxic
Nindot pod ni gam-an ug article ba, kining about toxic relationships. Sometimes kasi, we can’t distinguish if are we still in the right track or baka napaka toxic na ng relasyon na to, or nakaka drain na or very unhealthy na. I have a friend na 4 years sila sa iyang ex tas nagbuwag sila kasi daw toxic na kaayo. Toxic na in a way nga sayun ra kaayu sa iyang uyab na magtubag2 sa mama sa akong friend. Then too controlling, kase pag mag away sila, gamiton niyag pang blackmail ang facebook account sa akong friend, ilisan niyag password, ihack mga ganun2, and what’s worst, giabusaran na niya akong friend, maybe not physically but verbally. Naa pod toy kas-a na makigbuwag na akong friend nya gihulga siyag “Sige buwagi ko kay maghikog ko”. Scary right. But I’m very happy for her now kay that was 2 years ago, and now she’s happily single.
6. “She ain’t easy to get.”
Hmmmm how do I start this. Hindi natin maipagkakaila na Boys have this need for ano. Boys would ask "Babe pwede na ba?". Then girls would say "Sorry di pako ready gyud ana babe, mahadlok ko, di ko gusto masayop ta or madisgrasya ta." At first muingon gyud nag "Sige babe huwaton takag kanus-a ka ready". Pero kadugayan biiiiii, "Unsa mana babe oy nganung di man ka musugot, mura man tag di uyab. Di man siguro ko nimo love!". Saba diha boy, requirement na diay na karon? Mao na diay nay sukdanan ug love karon? Nagjowa ka nalang sana ng one night stand kung di ka makatiis or di ka kahulat. Remember girls, Real men can wait, but immature boys can't. Naa koy kaila, gibuwagan tawn siya kay lagi di siya musugot, sus di ta mahadlok ug buwagan tag ngana na laki oy. Daghan pang isda sa dagat, kanang isda nga gentleman 🙄.
7. Pinagbawalan/Study First
Eto, murag applicable ni siyas mga youngsters, mga ga uyab2 during high school days or elementary days. Wa ko kasulay ani man, wa ko nag uyab2 gyud sa elementary ug high school ko, gisulit nako akong pagka yagit gyud hahaha. But I don't have anything against people who are in a relationship during those days, nay uban man gani nga ang ilang uyab pag High school, mao nay nakadayun nila gyud taman kaminyuan (sana lahat). Syempre normal sa parents na bawalan ilang mga anak kay gaskwela pa man, di sila gustong ma distract. Bisan ganig college na, bawalan gihapon (murag ako sauna - pero lol nakauyab gihapon BWAHAHA). Nay uban na napaglaban gyud nila kahit pinagbawalan, pero nay uban na nabuwag gyud. Ok rana guys, pag #comeback mo pag naka graduate namo or pag naa namoy work. Pag kayo talaga, kayo talaga.
8. Falling Out Of Love
Mahapdi to, hapdos ning rasona. As per Taylor Swift, "When people fall out of love with you, there's nothing you can do to make them change their mind. They just don't love you anymore." I felt that. Lisod noh? Bintaha pa ng hilanat kay kabalo tang nganong gihilantan ta. Gihilantan ta kay nabasa tag ulan or wa tay tarong kaon ngana. Pero when somebody falls out of love with you, and when you asked them why and how, pati siya maglisod ug explain. Sabi nila parang it's a sudden feeling lang daw. One day gigising ka nalang, di mo na sya mahal. I don't know though, wa ko kasulay. Pero if ngana man galeng nga sudden feeling ra na, napaka sad naman. "Sorry pero di na kita mahal." Ay shaaaaks murag salida hahahahah, siguro ug gam-an nako nig thesis, naa guro poy reason hahahaha but I don't have plenty of time para imbestigahan ko tong mga ganitong reason noh lol.
9. Family Problem
Not a common reason but this can be a reason. If one of you, naay matinding pinagdadaanan sa family, and he/she can't focus on your relationship, then nay tendency magbuwag mo. Unless nalang if your partner is very understanding, then tabangan ka niyag face ana na family problem, then that's good awwweee😍 . But yeah naa gyuy cases na pati ang partner di ka handle, kay feel niya nadadamay na siya, so break up ang ending.
10. To Pursue Greater Opportunities
I have a co-worker, ngani ang nahitabo. Ni abroad ang ex niya to pursue his career, and she didn't want a long distance relationship, so she ended it. Ayaw nga sana ng ex niya eh, kay para ra sad daw sa ilang future ng iyang pag abroad unta ngana. See, it depends ragyud sa taw ng mga ingani, yung isa gustong ipaglaban ang LDR, yung isa ayaw niya kasi lisod daw ganun. But then, it's their choices though. Pero ug sila, awh magbalik ra lage na sila basta single gihapon silang duha nig uli atong isa hahaha kapit lang guys.
11. Long Distance
Murag connected ra ni sa number 10. Pero iniba ko lang ang number kay di tanang LDR, ingato ang case nga kanang ang isa nas layo for opportunities. Nay LDR man nga ang isa nas Baclayon, nya ang uyab nas Inabanga. Or ang isa nas Cebu tas ang isa naa sa Manila. Wala namang masama pag jowa mo nasa malayo, unsaon mang na inlove man kag taga lagyo hahaha. Pero some, they cannot maintain long distance, mainly because of trust issues. And according to my friends, lahi ragyud daw basta LDR. You cannot do the things that most couple normally do: date, watch movie together, walking2 ganun. Mostly video call ug chat2 inyong saligan. I really salute couples who can survive LDR, ngana kalig-on ilang trust sa usag-usa. Syempre trust is one of the most importante requirement when entering relationship. Ug magsige na raman kag duda, maopaw kag sayu ana. But for some, LDR is the reason kung mano they chose to end what they have.
12. Bad Influence
This could be one of the uncommon reasons, but this happens. Yung pag yung jowa mo, na impluwensyahan nag daotan sa iyang friends or environment (e.g. drugs). It's true na pag unsa atong partner, dawaton nato kay lage love nato ang taw. Pero dili sa kanunay. Example lang, tig drugs nana imong uyab and you know about it, tubayan nalang ba nimo? Dagko naman ta, we know what is right and wrong. If you think his vices is not going to help your relationship grow, or if it would be a hindrance sa inyong future, then it's understandable if you choose to end it. Unless nalang if gusto jud kang tabangan syang mag change so you choose to stick around for your partner. That's fine, pero ug di nagyud na matarong, then pagdesisyunan mo na.
So far, with the help of my cousins, eto lang nacollect naming reasons on why some relationships don't work. Somewhere on these numbers, naa gyuy friend nako ani na maigo hmmm (peace y'all haha). Pero you know what, mas nindot ng musod ug relasyon na ready naka, at the right time, with the right person, and with God's will. Kay pag kanang upat nag - align, kining mga reasons nga naa sa akong listahan, won't ruin your relationship. Samot na if God is the center of your relationship, then He'll always be with you to guide you and your partner all throughout the way.
Sa mga single jan, okay lang yan. Hindi naman contest ang pagjojowa eh. Tamang antay at shared posts lang sa Facebook okay na. And while single pa, focus na rin tayo sa pag nurture sa atong relationship with God, since mao man na ang pinaka importante. And when God sees that you're ready, He'll send you the right person in the most unexpected way. ❤️️❤️️
Idola 👏
ReplyDeleteAwwwe thank you po :)
DeleteLodi
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