Who's the best Listener?
From time to time, we all go through something or a situation that troubles us. Since it's bothering us, we go to any of our closest friends to vent out our problems or feelings that we're having. But have you ever had one of those times wherein after you have poured out all your problems and emotions, you regretted it afterward? Like, murag nagmahay kang giingnan nimo sya and be like "Maypay wa nalang nako sya tug-ani uy".
Yes I admit there were instances na I felt this, this regret. I am the type of person kasi who doesn't share my problems/secrets to just anyone. Before I even decide to tell a certain person about what I'm going through, ako pod na sya himbisan sa akong hunahuna HAHAHAH like "Hmmm maitok kaya syas akong ishare?" or "Interesado ba kaha ni maminaw?" and most importantly, "Di kaha ni niya ikalat-kalat sa laen?". I have trust issues din kasi because nakasulay nako in the past nga nagshare kog problema nya after a couple of days, natingala ko daghan nay nakabalo 🙄. Naulit jud ko ato oi hahaha nitagam gyud ko, that's why ever since, I don't just spill anything to anyone anymore.
So back to the feelings of regret. The reason why sometimes I regret that I tell certain people is because of how they made me feel after I told them everything. It could be:
1. They made me feel that I was wrong for even feeling it in the first place.
This is my top one reason gyud. Have you ever heard of someone tell you something like "Ikaw man gud. Dapat wala nalang unta ka ni kuan --" or lines like, "Tagna ko pa lagi, tungod ni sa kuan man gud --", or worst that I heard was this, "Ayaw na kakuan uy kay mao naman na." Shaks makamahay gyud hahahahaha, you don't need to rub it on my face because I knew my mistake or which part was I wrong. The best alternative for this is to acknowledge what they feel. Listen. Listen without judgment. Kaya nga kita pinagkatiwalaan nito kase I thought you wouldn't judge me. Ganern.
2. They gave me an advice which I never asked.
Sometimes, I vent out my problems because I want to ask for their advice. Pero before that, make sure to listen to the whole story first. Di yung, di pa tapos ang kwento may advice na hahaha. But for others, they don't want any advice at all, so better be cautious too in giving out advice. For me, okay lang naman, I do appreciate it as long as I'm done with the entire story.
3. They decided for me.
I've only encountered this a few times but this happens. When you're stuck in a problem wherein you have choices or you have to make a decision, and there goes that person who would say, "Ingani nalang para kuan -" or "Maypay magkuan naka para dili naka mag kuan ana." Thank you but siguro, the best thing you can do is suggest, but never decide in behalf of the person with that problem. Because after all, we are not in their shoes and we wouldn't feel how they are handling their problem. Siguro mas better if ganito, "Maybe if ako ang nas imong posisyon karon, ingani ako himoon. But then it's just me and lahi2 man ta, the last say is imo ragyud gihapon na friend."
That's why sometimes, it's better to keep things to myself. I only have a handful of people who I vent out my feelings and secrets, but my favorite one is my sister. She's the best listener that I've ever known, and at the same time, she's very frank towards me if she thinks I'm wrong or about to do something wrong. Same goes to her, I listen to her whenever she's going through something. Not all the time din naman na I just tell her everything kay naa may uban problema na pwede ra solohon. And that's the best time na feel nako to better keep some things to myself.
But do you know who everybody's best listener is? It's God. He doesn't just listen, but he also comforts, assures, and gives us faith that everything will be alright and everything will soon fall into place. According to 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." reassures that whatever problems we have, isurrender natin yan lahat sa kanya dahil hindi niya tayo pababayaan. If there comes a time na feel mo ikaw nalang mag-isa at walang makikinig sayo, just remember that God is always there, looking out for you at naghihintay lang na lumapit ka sa kanya. One of the best feelings ever is crying out everything to God in prayer, and as in, comforting kaayo. And through this, I've realized na the best lesson that God is trying to teach us is to trust Him, trust the process, and trust the promises that He made for us.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Yes I admit there were instances na I felt this, this regret. I am the type of person kasi who doesn't share my problems/secrets to just anyone. Before I even decide to tell a certain person about what I'm going through, ako pod na sya himbisan sa akong hunahuna HAHAHAH like "Hmmm maitok kaya syas akong ishare?" or "Interesado ba kaha ni maminaw?" and most importantly, "Di kaha ni niya ikalat-kalat sa laen?". I have trust issues din kasi because nakasulay nako in the past nga nagshare kog problema nya after a couple of days, natingala ko daghan nay nakabalo 🙄. Naulit jud ko ato oi hahaha nitagam gyud ko, that's why ever since, I don't just spill anything to anyone anymore.
So back to the feelings of regret. The reason why sometimes I regret that I tell certain people is because of how they made me feel after I told them everything. It could be:
1. They made me feel that I was wrong for even feeling it in the first place.
This is my top one reason gyud. Have you ever heard of someone tell you something like "Ikaw man gud. Dapat wala nalang unta ka ni kuan --" or lines like, "Tagna ko pa lagi, tungod ni sa kuan man gud --", or worst that I heard was this, "Ayaw na kakuan uy kay mao naman na." Shaks makamahay gyud hahahahaha, you don't need to rub it on my face because I knew my mistake or which part was I wrong. The best alternative for this is to acknowledge what they feel. Listen. Listen without judgment. Kaya nga kita pinagkatiwalaan nito kase I thought you wouldn't judge me. Ganern.
2. They gave me an advice which I never asked.
Sometimes, I vent out my problems because I want to ask for their advice. Pero before that, make sure to listen to the whole story first. Di yung, di pa tapos ang kwento may advice na hahaha. But for others, they don't want any advice at all, so better be cautious too in giving out advice. For me, okay lang naman, I do appreciate it as long as I'm done with the entire story.
3. They decided for me.
I've only encountered this a few times but this happens. When you're stuck in a problem wherein you have choices or you have to make a decision, and there goes that person who would say, "Ingani nalang para kuan -" or "Maypay magkuan naka para dili naka mag kuan ana." Thank you but siguro, the best thing you can do is suggest, but never decide in behalf of the person with that problem. Because after all, we are not in their shoes and we wouldn't feel how they are handling their problem. Siguro mas better if ganito, "Maybe if ako ang nas imong posisyon karon, ingani ako himoon. But then it's just me and lahi2 man ta, the last say is imo ragyud gihapon na friend."
That's why sometimes, it's better to keep things to myself. I only have a handful of people who I vent out my feelings and secrets, but my favorite one is my sister. She's the best listener that I've ever known, and at the same time, she's very frank towards me if she thinks I'm wrong or about to do something wrong. Same goes to her, I listen to her whenever she's going through something. Not all the time din naman na I just tell her everything kay naa may uban problema na pwede ra solohon. And that's the best time na feel nako to better keep some things to myself.
But do you know who everybody's best listener is? It's God. He doesn't just listen, but he also comforts, assures, and gives us faith that everything will be alright and everything will soon fall into place. According to 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." reassures that whatever problems we have, isurrender natin yan lahat sa kanya dahil hindi niya tayo pababayaan. If there comes a time na feel mo ikaw nalang mag-isa at walang makikinig sayo, just remember that God is always there, looking out for you at naghihintay lang na lumapit ka sa kanya. One of the best feelings ever is crying out everything to God in prayer, and as in, comforting kaayo. And through this, I've realized na the best lesson that God is trying to teach us is to trust Him, trust the process, and trust the promises that He made for us.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
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