ILoveYou's With Someone You Are NOT in a Relationship With
a.k.a. WALANG LABEL
Before anything else, this is a requested article. Someone wanted me to discuss about this trending situation which most of our beautiful single ladies and single gentlemen are in. No worries, no judgment from me kasi I've been through this as well. And also, I don't see anything wrong naman sa mga ganito, it's normal for some teens and young adults to go through this. I did my research for this as well. I had to question a few people that I know have been through this, so I can get more information about their experience and how did it felt like for them.
So my requester dropped me 2 questions. First question was,
"Nganung maka feel man tag concern sa taw bisag dili pa nato sila uyab?"
This one is easy. It's because we care. We care for that special person. And also, caring is not only limited for our boyfriends or girlfriends only. We can genuinely care for anyone, even for strangers, or people we don't always meet everyday, or to people from across the globe. When we see news on the TV about other countries whose number of deaths are increasing due to the COVID-19, we pray for them. That's because we care. So how much more to that person that we have special feelings for? Kaya don't worry, to feel concern for them is normal, and you're doing great.
The Second question that my requester dropped for me was,
"Nganung magselos man ta bisan ug dili pa nato uyab ng tawhana?"
Now this is a bit tricky. If you look up "Jealousy" on google, may nagsasabi doon na "Jealousy should not be romanticized" or be considered as proof of love. Kasi anu, Jealousy is like a unique mix of sadness, competition and anger. Hence, it is a negative feeling. But for me, and base on the people that I have asked, it is okay, and it is normal, it's human nature. So to answer the question, we feel jealous because we have special feelings for that person. We feel jealous because we are already attached, and we want that person's attention to be only for us. Not in a selfish way, but kanang di ta gusto nga ma divert pa iyang atensyon sa laeng taw, kay MU naman mo, or you're in a Mutual understanding, or CHAR2. Bisag char-char ramo, (pwera nalang sa mga gadungan dungan ug kacharchar diha, pwe!!), naa may uban gud na bisan ug MU pa, he/she is already taking that person seriously. Because in dating, di man ta largo na mudiritso ug in a relationship diba, muagi man gyud na una sa friends, then MU (Char2), before being in a relationship.
So for the person asking, there's your answer, and it's okay to feel jealous. What's not okay, is depending on how you deal with it. Sari-sari ang mga sagot na nakuha ko from people whom I asked on how they dealt with their jealousy. Nay uban nga nasuko, nay uban nga nanglood, naa say uban na giluom lang sa ilang self. And from all that diverse answers, my conclusion is: it depends on the person that you are with, and the level of your MU, or level sa inyong charcharness.
Why or how?
Number One: Naa man guy MU/Char2 nga kanang wa pa nag ILYhan, pero they are starting to show affection na towards each other. Wala pang mga feelings na naconfess or nababanggit, soooo pakiramdaman pa lamang ang lahat. Mao ni ang type of MU na confusing or libog. Kay feel nimo naay something ninyo, pero wala pa naconfirmed. That’s why, if you ever feel jealous while you both are in this setup, you have no choice but to keep it to yourself. May boundary pa kasi, hindi mo pa kasi alam kung saan ka lulugar. Kutob2 pa ang tanan, wala pa sya niconfess, ikaw sad wala pa, pero caring namo sa usag usa. So the safer action is, know your boundaries muna.
Number Two: The other type of MU/Char2 is kanang nag confession na silang duha sa ilang feelings, or niingon na gyud mo both nga you like each other, or better yet, you love each other. In this type of MU setup, at least may panghahawakan ka na. Kay it’s crystal clear naman nga you both have feelings for each other. By the way, para rani sa mga seryoso sa ilang gipang confess na feelings ha. So if ever you feel jealous na naa syay gi entertain laen, you can address this with your ka-MU, pero wag ka magalit agad. ASK muna, basin muhamag ra pod ka dayun ug kasuko noh hahahaha maturn off pa laman na. Bisag nag ILYhan namo, just know nga the boundary is still there, better be safe hahaha.
Bonus Question!
Bonus kase this question is from one of the people that I interviewed, so dili ni from the requester. The question was:
“Okay raba ng mag ILOVEYOU nami bisag di mi uyab?”
Uso raba daw ni hahahaha kaya nya natanong. Here's a direct answer for a direct question:
There's nothing wrong with saying I love you to that person, bisag di mo uyab. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. I really adore people who are expressive (just so you know hihihi). Do you know what is not okay? What's not okay is when you say I love you, and you don't mean it. It's never okay to say I love you, when you know yourself na hindi ka pa sure if it is love. And it is never okay to say I love you to someone, when you know na daghan diay pod sila imong giingnan ana kay trip lang nimo. Love is such a big word, it's a strong feeling. It must be felt genuinely before you even tell it to someone. Nakakalungkot lang how some people just throw their Iloveyou's away and never really meant it. Diha man gud magsugod ng "paasa". Mao ng daghan muasa, kay giingnan man ug Iloveyou, bisan ug di diay niya love. You are leading that person in the wrong direction if you confess your feelings which you aren't sure of. So, to lessen the damage, or pag di paka sure, then wag na muna mag ILOVEYOU, okay? And sa mga giingnan ug ILOVEYOU bisag dili pa uyab, believe it only when it is matched with his/her actions and efforts.
Alright requester, your order is served 😂😂 and goodluck to your love life. And to the rest of the humans there, good luck din. Sa pagliligawan niyo jan, sabayan nyo yan ng prayer para ma guide-dan mo ni God nga kanang tawhana nga ka MU nimo ron, is the right person for you. ❤️️❤️️❤️️
Before anything else, this is a requested article. Someone wanted me to discuss about this trending situation which most of our beautiful single ladies and single gentlemen are in. No worries, no judgment from me kasi I've been through this as well. And also, I don't see anything wrong naman sa mga ganito, it's normal for some teens and young adults to go through this. I did my research for this as well. I had to question a few people that I know have been through this, so I can get more information about their experience and how did it felt like for them.
So my requester dropped me 2 questions. First question was,
"Nganung maka feel man tag concern sa taw bisag dili pa nato sila uyab?"
This one is easy. It's because we care. We care for that special person. And also, caring is not only limited for our boyfriends or girlfriends only. We can genuinely care for anyone, even for strangers, or people we don't always meet everyday, or to people from across the globe. When we see news on the TV about other countries whose number of deaths are increasing due to the COVID-19, we pray for them. That's because we care. So how much more to that person that we have special feelings for? Kaya don't worry, to feel concern for them is normal, and you're doing great.
The Second question that my requester dropped for me was,
"Nganung magselos man ta bisan ug dili pa nato uyab ng tawhana?"
Now this is a bit tricky. If you look up "Jealousy" on google, may nagsasabi doon na "Jealousy should not be romanticized" or be considered as proof of love. Kasi anu, Jealousy is like a unique mix of sadness, competition and anger. Hence, it is a negative feeling. But for me, and base on the people that I have asked, it is okay, and it is normal, it's human nature. So to answer the question, we feel jealous because we have special feelings for that person. We feel jealous because we are already attached, and we want that person's attention to be only for us. Not in a selfish way, but kanang di ta gusto nga ma divert pa iyang atensyon sa laeng taw, kay MU naman mo, or you're in a Mutual understanding, or CHAR2. Bisag char-char ramo, (pwera nalang sa mga gadungan dungan ug kacharchar diha, pwe!!), naa may uban gud na bisan ug MU pa, he/she is already taking that person seriously. Because in dating, di man ta largo na mudiritso ug in a relationship diba, muagi man gyud na una sa friends, then MU (Char2), before being in a relationship.
So for the person asking, there's your answer, and it's okay to feel jealous. What's not okay, is depending on how you deal with it. Sari-sari ang mga sagot na nakuha ko from people whom I asked on how they dealt with their jealousy. Nay uban nga nasuko, nay uban nga nanglood, naa say uban na giluom lang sa ilang self. And from all that diverse answers, my conclusion is: it depends on the person that you are with, and the level of your MU, or level sa inyong charcharness.
Why or how?
Number One: Naa man guy MU/Char2 nga kanang wa pa nag ILYhan, pero they are starting to show affection na towards each other. Wala pang mga feelings na naconfess or nababanggit, soooo pakiramdaman pa lamang ang lahat. Mao ni ang type of MU na confusing or libog. Kay feel nimo naay something ninyo, pero wala pa naconfirmed. That’s why, if you ever feel jealous while you both are in this setup, you have no choice but to keep it to yourself. May boundary pa kasi, hindi mo pa kasi alam kung saan ka lulugar. Kutob2 pa ang tanan, wala pa sya niconfess, ikaw sad wala pa, pero caring namo sa usag usa. So the safer action is, know your boundaries muna.
Number Two: The other type of MU/Char2 is kanang nag confession na silang duha sa ilang feelings, or niingon na gyud mo both nga you like each other, or better yet, you love each other. In this type of MU setup, at least may panghahawakan ka na. Kay it’s crystal clear naman nga you both have feelings for each other. By the way, para rani sa mga seryoso sa ilang gipang confess na feelings ha. So if ever you feel jealous na naa syay gi entertain laen, you can address this with your ka-MU, pero wag ka magalit agad. ASK muna, basin muhamag ra pod ka dayun ug kasuko noh hahahaha maturn off pa laman na. Bisag nag ILYhan namo, just know nga the boundary is still there, better be safe hahaha.
Bonus Question!
Bonus kase this question is from one of the people that I interviewed, so dili ni from the requester. The question was:
“Okay raba ng mag ILOVEYOU nami bisag di mi uyab?”
Uso raba daw ni hahahaha kaya nya natanong. Here's a direct answer for a direct question:
There's nothing wrong with saying I love you to that person, bisag di mo uyab. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. I really adore people who are expressive (just so you know hihihi). Do you know what is not okay? What's not okay is when you say I love you, and you don't mean it. It's never okay to say I love you, when you know yourself na hindi ka pa sure if it is love. And it is never okay to say I love you to someone, when you know na daghan diay pod sila imong giingnan ana kay trip lang nimo. Love is such a big word, it's a strong feeling. It must be felt genuinely before you even tell it to someone. Nakakalungkot lang how some people just throw their Iloveyou's away and never really meant it. Diha man gud magsugod ng "paasa". Mao ng daghan muasa, kay giingnan man ug Iloveyou, bisan ug di diay niya love. You are leading that person in the wrong direction if you confess your feelings which you aren't sure of. So, to lessen the damage, or pag di paka sure, then wag na muna mag ILOVEYOU, okay? And sa mga giingnan ug ILOVEYOU bisag dili pa uyab, believe it only when it is matched with his/her actions and efforts.
Alright requester, your order is served 😂😂 and goodluck to your love life. And to the rest of the humans there, good luck din. Sa pagliligawan niyo jan, sabayan nyo yan ng prayer para ma guide-dan mo ni God nga kanang tawhana nga ka MU nimo ron, is the right person for you. ❤️️❤️️❤️️
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